VICTORY OVER SHAME
There is no formula or 3 step program to be healed or "cured" of same sex attraction or any sexual or "impossible" issue. Our help and deliverance comes from God Himself, through Jesus Christ, His son.
As a Christian, I still struggled with desires and thoughts of same sex attraction. They tormented me. God can do anything and He could have instantly healed me or anyone struggling at any time He chooses but sometimes healing doesn't come right away or at least doesn't for a while. In my case, instantly is not what my heart and mind needed and God knew it. Sometimes, God is doing a deeper work in us and we need to learn something before we can appreciate and embrace our deliverance and freedom.
I know how painful, depressing and frustrating SSA is. The struggle of wanting and desiring what you know is not right. I know how it feels to battle the feelings inside, the longings, the self rejection felt and intense lust-filled cravings of the flesh. I understand how much confusion can come about asking why would God allow a desire for something you know is wrong. I've been there. I know the dark feelings that arise inside. The torment and confusion. Feelings of humiliation and embarrassment and deep SHAME and guilt. It is a very painful struggle. But, the freedom that is possible in following Jesus Christ is so radical that you cannot imagine living in such freedom. There is satisfaction and peace available through faith in Jesus Christ. He does the impossible!
I have had miraculous healing in my body from disease, fever and conditions and have seen others healed so I know instant healing is possible. However, with same sex attraction, for me it has been a process and it may be for you as well. However, there are testimonies of instant healing. When you take the hand of Jesus, you go on a personal journey together and He works on each issue in our lives as He see's fit. FOR A PURPOSE. It's never to let us suffer needlessly, God has a plan and is working in us to achieve what He wills to use us for.
Even in the midst of your struggle, you can have victory if you turn it over to Christ and allow him to work in your life. The victory for me is that I have a life full of blessing and peace with God. I know that according to His promises of salvation, I am saved and on my way to Heaven when I leave this earth. Jesus said that in this life we would have trouble but to take heart because He has overcome/ conquered the world (John 16:33). That means, He already has victory over death, sin, suffering, pain and darkness. I could have chosen another path away from God but I know that that path would have taken me into darkness and pain and eventually hell in separation from God.
Jesus saves us and leaves us here on earth for a reason, to bring others into His Kingdom and into the light. So that others will know the goodness of the Lord! So that our victories and brokenness can reveal the wonderful works of God and His great mercy for sinners. Anyone who repents and has faith in Jesus Christ will be saved but those who reject Him will be judged and condemned.
More than knowing that same sex attraction can be conquered, I want you to know that Jesus is alive and real and beckons you to turn to Him. He's not a fable or a story people made up, he's alive and I've seen Him and interacted with Him. Do you want to see Jesus?
"Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them." John 14:21
What He said here is true, He will reveal Himself to you. I have seen many of my friends go from not believing in Jesus and even mocking me to being completely amazed when He reveals Himself to them. He will not turn away anyone who seeks Him. I want you to know and experience this above anything else. That is the beginning of your healing process.. if you are looking for a step one, there it is... seek Jesus with all your heart from this moment forward, how you may ask?
Make a serious effort to seek, open your heart to Him:
1) Call on him. Find a place where you can be alone to pray and talk to Jesus. Prayer is not something fancy done in church, its conversation with God. It's talking out loud to him in your sincere questions and wonderings. Ask Jesus to speak to you. (Matthew 11:28-29)
2) Be on the lookout. When you call on Jesus with a sincere heart to know Him, He will answer. Have an attitude of one who is waiting on something or someone. Be alert to the ways that God may be speaking to you, expect the unexpected and the supernatural. (James 1:6)
3) Get an easy to read Bible. I suggest a New Living Translation for those seeking Jesus. It's more clear than other translations. Read the book of John, it's a great place to start but wherever you feel led to start, do so.
4) Find a Christian who will pray over you that the Holy Spirit will reveal Jesus to you. (Ephesians 1:17)
5) I find music to be very powerful and moves the soul. Find worship music. Itunes has a Christian music genres tab you could look through and pick a couple songs. Lauren Daigle, Bethel music, Julie True, Kari Jobi are great artists to check out.
Once He reveals Himself to you, He will take you on your own journey. He will speak to you on your own struggles and show you ways how you will overcome them. Stay in prayer, reading the Bible and take time to worship Him often. This is where you must begin your journey, with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Now.... I can show you some of the keys God gave me along the way.
For a couple years, the Lord began to draw me to confess to others. Notice it was the Lord moving me to confess in His timing. This was very, very difficult at first. The first time I confessed were to a pastor and wife I knew in England. I met them at their home and I cried my whole way through a confession of my struggle. I'm not sure how much they understood me to be honest because I was a crying mess and half my words were said in despairing cries. Regardless, they held me, wiped my tears away, prayed over me and assured me it was going to be okay. The next time I confessed was to my husband a year or two later. The devil had filled my head with all sorts of lies about the reaction my husband would have and I was in a constant state of fear of confessing to him but Jesus was leading me to do so. When I shared it with him, again in tears, my husband was understanding and loving and assured me, I would be okay and we were okay. All the lies satan was telling me and I was telling myself, were just that, lies. Ever since, I have confessed to many others as the Lord has led to and all have been gracious and understanding this far. I believe a healing process began with that first confession.
This direction the Lord gave me can be found in the Bible in the book of James.
13 Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. 14 Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. 17 Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! 18 Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops. James 5:13-18
Confession of sins is different from "coming out." Today's coming out confession is saturated with pride, rebellion and disobedience to God. Defiantly, people are coming out and making a statement that their sin is acceptable and they will not be ashamed of it or repent to God.
Friends, this is taking a stance in rebellion against God and won't end well. God sent Jesus to die a horrid, vicious death on the cross to pay for our sins. He does not want you to embrace your sins, He wants to rid you of them! His blood poured out from being whipped, stricken, beaten and nailed to a wooden cross paid for those sins, if you will receive His offer to pay for them. If you reject His sacrifice to pay for your sins, then you are on your own... and you will not fare well, I promise you.
Luke 10:16- Then he said to the disciples, “Anyone who accepts your message is also accepting me. And anyone who rejects you is rejecting me. And anyone who rejects me is rejecting God, who sent me.”
Be aware of oppressing spirits-
The Lord began to teach and show me dreams where demonic spirits would either attack me or reveal something of how they were operating in my life. The Lord led me to break ties with demonic forces, break generational curses, the power of the blood of Jesus and understand how the seducing spirits kept me in bondage. I am still learning but I have cut ties with these spirits and stronghold's have been broken at this point. There are deliverance ministries and great resources to look into for more help with deliverance and closing the door to seducing spirits. Many deliverance ministers have written books (one is Derek Prince) and explained how these demonic forces gain an entrance into our lives, those doors to demonic activity must be shut. I have personally felt demonic forces leaving me as I've been engaged in prayers of deliverance. I know that some aren't comfortable with this but the word of God tells us plainly in 1 Timothy. Paul warned timothy, who was going into ministry, about these spirits in the latter times.
1 Timothy 4:1 - Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils
We must be aware of our enemy's schemes. We must pray and ask God to show us how to guard ourselves. We must not be obsessive with the enemy but we must be very wise to the way the enemy works and gains a foothold. Steer clear of anything clearly demonic. The Lord tell us that we are not to be involved in sorcery, magic, spells, tarot cards, palm readers, horoscopes, etc. Those are doors to the demonic. Stay away from them.
Prayer, reading the Bible, worshiping and spending time in worship with true believers. All this is vital to ANY believer in Jesus Christ. Jesus warned us to stay alert and pray that we would not fall into temptation because our body (flesh) is weak. (see Mark 14:38)
Prayer is especially powerful when combined with fasting. Although I would like to fast more often, the times that I have, the Lord has brought great breakthrough when I have. It is powerful and something that should be looked into further. There are some great books on fasting by Christian leaders that are great resources for more information. I suggest looking into it before trying it to truly understand fasting and have your heart positioned and focused in it.
Here are some more tips and practices that have helped me;
a) Stay clear of anything that stimulates lustful desires-
b) keep away music with seductive lyrics. protect your brain.
c) watch out for certain stores (such as Victoria's secret where the spirit of lust is rampant)
d) don't read or watch sexual or seductive movies or books
e) be careful of drawing too close to overtly sexual or seductive individuals
f) guard your eyes - Job (31:1) said that he made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. That is something we must do as well with anyone we come across. It may take us some time but we strive towards looking with purer eyes.
Remember that I said seducing spirits are being unleashed in these end times we live in, be wise. Realize what seduces you and stay clear from it as much as you can. There are times when I'm in a situation that I cannot escape a song or situation in a store or restaurant and I just try to distract my brain best I can. These seducing spirits will try to gain access again and seduce you to old ways of thinking and desires. In the beginning of my walk with Christ, I would sometimes go through seasons of listening to my old secular music and secular artists that I enjoyed. I found that those times I was most prone to start to backslide in my faith. I eventually caught on and stopped listening to secular music altogether. Steer clear as much as you can. Guard your heart and mind.
Renew your mind-
Romans 13:14 Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.
Speaking of the mind, something that the Holy Spirit has been really leading me to do is to renew my mind. This has been so IMPORTANT. The Bible tells us to renew our minds. I never really understood that until I purposely began to think of my thoughts. Joyce Meyer says think about what you think about! It's true. We can't just let any thought invade our mind. Satan is constantly trying to bombard us with thoughts of fear and if we struggle with SSA, with lustful thoughts. Be aware. To replace old thinking, we MUST read the Bible and begin to have our mind washed by the word of God and changed.
Great resources to read besides the Bible are Joyce Meyer Battlefield of the Mind and Kyle Winkler's Silence Satan.
These are but a few tips on keeping yourself on the right track and on your way to victory. As you can see guarding your HEART AND MIND are vital in this battle. I'll be sharing more and adding to this page, so check back.
John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
James 4:7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
5 For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
Romans 1:24-28 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. 28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done.
Job 31:1- “I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look with lust at a young woman.
Acts 15:28-29 “For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay no greater burden on you than these few requirements: 29 You must abstain from eating food offered to idols, from consuming blood or the meat of strangled animals, and from sexual immorality. If you do this, you will do well. Farewell.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
2 Corinthians 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 Finally, dear brothers and sisters,we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. 2 For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
Jude 1:6-7 And I remind you of the angels who did not stay within the limits of authority God gave them but left the place where they belonged. God has kept them securely chained in prisons of darkness, waiting for the great day of judgment. 7 And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment. NLT
Jude 1:18 They said to you, "In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires."
Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye[b]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand[c]—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Mark 8:36 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
Mark 10:5-12 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. 6 But ‘God made them male and female’[a] from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,[b] 8 and the two are united into one.’[c] Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.
2 Peter 2:6-10 Later, God condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and turned them into heaps of ashes. He made them an example of what will happen to ungodly people. 7 But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. 8 Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. 9 So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment. 10 He is especially hard on those who follow their own twisted sexual desire, and who despise authority. These people are proud and arrogant, daring even to scoff at supernatural beings[a] without so much as trembling. NLT
Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young person stay pure?
By obeying your word.
10 I have tried hard to find you—
don’t let me wander from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
1 Timothy 1:8-11 We know that the law is good when used correctly. 9 For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders. 10 The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders,[a] liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching 11 that comes from the glorious Good News entrusted to me by our blessed God.
Revelation 2:20-23 But I have this complaint against you. You are permitting that woman—that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet—to lead my servants astray. She teaches them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols. 21 I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality.22 “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering,[a] and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches out the thoughts and intentions of every person. And I will give to each of you whatever you deserve.
Revelation 21:8 But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
Revelation 21:27 Nothing evil[a] will be allowed to enter, nor anyone who practices shameful idolatry and dishonesty—but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.
Revelation 22:14-15 Blessed are those who wash their robes. They will be permitted to enter through the gates of the city and eat the fruit from the tree of life. 15 Outside the city are the dogs—the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie.